Prayer, please.

Subscribers, this has been a last few trying weeks. Shew, it’s been challenging. I write to you all now just asking for prayer which is something I rarely do in regards to myself. You are probably wondering what’s going on, and to be honest, nothing really major. Just normal, every day things. For some reason though, I’ve been letting things get to me more than I should and I am trying to just let go and let God. Sometimes that doesn’t come easy for me.

For starters, my daughter who has been an honor roll student each report card is struggling this quarter in school. She isn’t the only one struggling, a lot of the class is, but I am that mom who wants her to be challenged but not struggle. It isn’t that she isn’t smart enough, she’s proved herself to be above where she should be based on age alone over and over. However, she’s just gotten into a slump where she doesn’t seem motivated this quarter and it’s the small things like following directions entirely on a problem, reading the questions thoroughly, being responsible and remembering to bring home books when you have something to study for, writing out problems instead of just the answer, you know, the stuff that should come easily. I am trying to remember though, fourth grade is tough. Kindergarten through third, their hands are held, they are babied to a sense, and then fourth grade, it’s time to prepare them for that ribbon to be cut. Once fifth grade comes around, there aren’t the study guides, there aren’t detailed instructions to take home a book. The student has a big responsibility that fourth grade teachers are trying to shape them for. My little girl, doesn’t quite know how to handle all of that responsibility yet and in a sense, doesn’t want to.

I am in no hurry for her to grow up but man, this is a tough school year. Next year she gets to try out for JV Cheerleading which she has been looking forward to since she started the Spirit Squad. She is well aware that if her grades don’t come up and remain good like they have all this time, JV Cheerleading won’t be an option. Just pray for us, y’all. It’s stressful on the teachers, on the students, and on the families at home.

Outside of this school quarter, my focus and determination to really get my life back on track in regards to health and fitness has been somewhat of a downward spiral. I am not sure if it’s just all the added stress and pressure, well yeah I am sure, that’s what it is. My mind has not been mentally focused where it should be and instead I’ve been letting the negative, stress, and anxiousness take over which has led to some unwanted weight gain that I once had lost. I will get there again. I have a friend who will be my Advocare challenge buddy, and another friend who will be training for a 5K run with me. I haven’t ran in years and I so miss the body, the feeling, and the confidence that I had when I did. I look forward to getting there again. Just pray for me. Pray for my sanity, patience, guidance, direction, focus, mentality, confidence, motivation, and peace.

I am thankful for you all, you’re an outlet of sorts. Someone who I can type all of my thoughts (the good, the bad, and the ugly) to. I would love some feedback though, I don’t hear from most of you and would really like to know I’m not the only one out there facing this struggles.

Let’s chat, soon! Xo.
Hollie

Christmas Reflection

In the midst of the Christmas festivities, I found myself strung thin with the feeling of the world on my shoulders. Each year I say I am going to be ahead of the game and have everything prepared way before Christmas arrives and each year, Christmas hits me in the face before I even blink and realize it’s there. I am adamant it comes faster each year, don’t you agree? The feeling of getting everything wrapped, cooked, baked, and finalized for get togethers can really cause some unneeded anxiety and stress in what should be a rejoicing time of year.

Although my family is fully aware that Jesus is the reason for the season, I absolutely love giving gifts and find such joy in purchasing, making, wrapping, and giving to others. It’s one of my favorite things about Christmas aside from Jesus’ birth. This year, mini spent the night with her dad on Christmas Eve so I slept in and soaked in the quiet morning although I missed her excitement over Santa’s visit in the wee hours of the morning and I eagerly waiting for her to be home.

Our tree was absolutely beautiful Christmas morning. It had looked the same since the day I put it up but something about sitting on the couch, relaxing with Kasey, enjoying the parade, and just soaking in every second made it seem that more beautiful. There was something so serene about the calmness of not being in the hustle and bustle of the season that during those moments, I really reflected on how blessed I am. Not because I had a Christmas tree full of ornaments and lights, or presents underneath, but simply because I was awake and healthy. I was full of anticipation for my beautiful little girl to get home from her dad’s. I was full of excitement that I would be spending the next hours and days with our families and friends. I just have so much to be thankful for that I overlook and take for granted way more often than I should.

  
As the new year approaches, that is one thing that I am trying to do better at. Truly and honestly, being grateful and recognizing the many blessings daily and not just when it’s convenient. How easy it is to get caught up and only recognize our blessings when it fits into our schedule but don’t you believe that our blessings are even more apparent during our struggles and moments of weakness? It just takes a little more effort on our part to notice and appreciate them.

I hope that your Christmas was spent with those who make your heart swell. Until next time my friends,

Hollie

Poof, be gone!

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Sure would be nice if it were that easy. My daughter and I are battling some sort of cold/allergy/sinus mess this week. We have a competition coming up this weekend and a couple of the cheerleaders are also sick. One has the flu, the other has a stomach bug. If you’re the praying kind, please keep us all in your prayers for health and safety this weekend. Hope you’re staying well, so much going around!

Missing Piece

This Christmas Eve was a new experience for me, my daughter stayed the night at her dad’s house. Normally, she stays with me and then goes to her dad’s on Christmas Day. Our schedule this year was different to where it worked out better for her to just stay with him Christmas Eve. Last night I was able to lay down earlier than usual, watch The Christmas Story and fall asleep with no intention of waking up to handle operation Santa. No child to run in so excited during the wee hours of the morning to see if Santa made a stop at her house.

Did I sleep in? No. Did I get a good night’s rest? No. Am I little bummed more than excited this Christmas morning? Yes. I tossed and turned all night. I wondered if her dad had a successful operation Santa for his first attempt, no pressure there I tell ya. I wondered if she was sleeping good and would wake up real early like she does here. I wondered if it would affect her mood that her Christmas morning routine was different this year. This Christmas morning, my routine isn’t like it normally is. This Christmas morning I will take my time to set out gifts and stockings from Santa and get the birthday stuff organized (we celebrate Jesus’s birthday on Christmas Day as well). Once everything is organized and ready for my girl, I will sit. I will miss her loudness, her giggles, her excitement. I will miss the wrapping supplies mess after she’s torn into everything. I will miss her singing Happy Birthday to Jesus.

Sharing children isn’t always the easiest, actually most of the time it isn’t easy at all. It can seem like a break from parenthood   but it’s really a missing piece is your normality. I am thankful though that she has so many people who love her and that her dad and I have such a good friendship where things can work out and not be hostile like most divorce situations. That is a true blessing! I’m not complaining because she is at her dad’s, because like I said I’m very thankful for that love he continues to give her, I’m just a little sad because I have a missing piece in my normal Christmas morning routine. Does that make me selfish?

I am so excited for her to come home and us make our Christmas rounds visiting family before coming back home and getting to do our Christmas (and Santa). I cannot wait to have a dose of her excitement and spend the rest of the day together. That’s what I’m looking forward to this Christmas morning. What about you? What is your Christmas routine like and have you ever had to experience sharing your children? If anyone else is in my same boat this morning, I pray that God will bring comfort to your heart and soul. I pray that you’ll be filled with joy and not emptiness. I pray that your day will still be Blessed. Amen.

Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy Birthday to Jesus!